So I’m talking to my ex the other day and naturally we started arguing about something stupid. Considering most of our conversations end with her saying “I hate you” or “You’re disgusting” I guess I should have figured that would happen. But she had said something about being excited to watch “Gossip Girl” that night and I replied that I had zero interest in ever watching that show, despite the hot chicks that seemed to populate the cast. Then she claimed that they were way hotter than the girls of “Friday Night Lights” and the argument ensued.
Anyone who reads this site knows of my obsession with the women of FNL…go here and here for examples. But since I’ve never watched “Gossip Girl” I had to do extensive research for this post. So here’s a breakdown of the merits of the female cast members of both shows and how they stack up against their counterpart on the opposing show. The comparisons take into account not just the hotness of the actress but the hotness of her character as well. We’ll go with the “Friday Night Lights” girls first, followed by their “Gossip Girl” opponents.
The Tall Blonde
Adrianne Palicki as Tyra Collette
Ms. Palicki has it all. She’s a 5’11 blonde with a perfect body, gorgeous face and a great smile. Her character is the classic chick from the trailer park with a boatload of issues. Her mom is a drunk, her sister is a stripper and she’s nailed probably half the population of Dillon, Texas. Her “list” includes local poon-hound and Dillon High School fullback Tim Riggins. She also helped the bumbling idiot that is Landry Clarke dispose of the body of a guy he killed trying to protect her from being raped. Tyra then slept with him for his trouble. Tyra also cries too much and likes to toy with guys constantly. Sadly, she’s so hot that none of that would deter us from going there.
When Tyra started playing volleyball midway through the second season, that more than sealed the deal for us. Long ago we learned that volleyball chicks, tend to be hot. I’m not talking about the pros, or even the college ones, I’m talking about the high school ones (the LEGAL high school ones). The tiny spandex she had to wear were worth the price of admission and we don’t see her hotness dropping off any in the coming season. Plus, I’m typically not a fan of short hair, but she made it work in season two.
Blake Lively as Serena van der Woodsen
The 20-year-old Lively is an up-and-comer in the acting world and she’s definitely a great looking girl. She’s a 5’9 blonde with legs for days. She’s got a decent body and can definitely play the hot female lead well as she showed in the average comedy “Accepted.” From what I can gather her character on the show is a freaking mess. At the beginning of the show Serena has just returned from boarding school, which she was forced to go to because she was an out of control alcoholic. Before she left, she also slept with her best friend’s long-time boyfriend.
Now she’s back and claiming to have her life together. To that end she’s started dating the classic “poor kid from Brooklyn who isn’t like the rest of us” that attends her school. But apparently she’s about to cheat on him. There’s also a chance she may have killed someone. While her fearlessness and crazy past could be kinda cool, and would give you interesting stuff to talk about, she’s clearly nuts.
Advantage: Friday Night Lights
The Brunette
Minka Kelly as Lyla Garrity
Ms. Kelly is straight gorgeous. Beautiful face, great smile, perfect ass, great stomach and nice eyes (since that’s what I focus on). She’s as close to perfect as it gets without being Adrianne Palicki. But her personality has come into question. Kelly has had so many high profile flings recently it’s made me wonder about her. Apparently she’s easier to get into than Arizona State. As for her character, Lyla is all over the place. In season one she was the perfect cheerleader dating the star quarterback. When her boyfriend was paralyzed, she dealt with it by sleeping with his best friend…local poon-hound and Dillon High School fullback Tim Riggins. In season two she became a Bible-thumping prude who started dating a hardcore Christian guy. Interesting turn huh?
Still, the girl is hot and certainly has a way about her. It’s hard to ignore her sexiness despite the un-sexiness of her character now and the laundry list of guys she’s nailed in real life.
Leighton Meester as Blair Waldorf
Meester is a 22-year-old and another up-and-comer. She’s been on “24” and “Shark” and she also had an unforgettably sexy turn as virgin pop star Justine Chapin on the first season of “Entourage.” She’s 5’4, with naturally blonde hair, but went brown for the show. She’s another girl who’s incredibly sexy and knows how to use it. She’s got a way of looking at the camera that just screams sex. Her character is the best friend whose boyfriend Serena nailed. So how did Blair get back at her cheating ex? She slept with his best friend. Nice.
The downside to her character is the fact that she’s a total prude. She held out on her long-time boyfriend, forcing him into the arms of her best friend. She’s the classic mean, rich girl but she’s somehow likable. She comes from old money, her mother is a famous designer with no self confidence and her father left her mom for another man. Yikes. She’s the queen bee of the school and everything runs through her. Basically she appears to have a perfect life. Except for the fact that her relationship fell apart, her parents are a mess and she’s bulimic because of the way her mom talks to her. Awesome. So she’s Sarah Michelle Gellar’s character from “Cruel Intentions” minus the sluttiness. Call us crazy but we like a challenge.
Advantage: Gossip Girl
The Jailbait
Aimee Teegarden as Julie Taylor
Ms. Teegarden jumped up on the hotness scale about 40 points during this past year. She finally turned 18 and came of age a bit. She grew boobs an ass and lost her baby fat. The girl is smokin’ now. Her character is the confused, unsure, shy-ish daughter of Dillon High School football coach Eric Taylor. She’s a 16-year-old virgin and has had an up and down relationship with Dillon quarterback Matt Saracen…who she dumped for some random Swedish lifeguard guy who happened to be in a horrible band. One oddly-timed makeout session with him later and her mom put a stop to that.
She also constantly complains and doesn’t think anyone pays any attention to her. Can you say needy? Julie’s awkwardness and the way she makes every scene she’s in excruciating to watch, definitely takes away from her amble physical gifts.
Taylor Momsen as Jenny Humphrey
Ms. Momsen isn’t even 15 yet, so I really don’t think I can do this entry without feeling incredibly dirty. I’ll just say she’s definitely going to be a cute girl when she grows up a little, how about that? Her character is the poor kid from Brooklyn’s little sister. She’s a freshman at the school and really wants to be a part of the “in crowd” and be just like the rich kids. So basically she does whatever they tell her to and they take pleasure in hazing her. She’s even stolen an expensive dress from a girl’s house and traded it in to pay for a new dress because she couldn’t afford it.
Jenny has recently been dating an extremely rich dude who turned out to be gay. He was using her as a cover for his man-loving ways. She’s also Blair’s mortal enemy and a virgin.
Advantage: Friday Night Lights
The MILF
Connie Britton as Tami Taylor
Ms. Britton is an attractive 40-year-old actress, who fits the “Mom” profile very well. For her age she’s still kept it together in the body and face departments and even manages to be sexy from time to time. She’s an excellent actress and plays her emotionally demanding part well. Her character just had a baby, and has bounced back nicely. But her ridiculous emotional swings are a huge turn-off. It’s also clear that she wears the pants in her relationship with coach Taylor, despite the fact that he plays the classic bull-headed football coach. She often makes fun of him when he wants to get frisky, and rebuffs his advances. That’s not cool, I mean the guy married her and puts up with her crap, the least she could do is give him regular sex. For shame Mrs. Taylor, for shame.
Kelly Rutherford as Lily van der Woodsen
Rutherford is a 39-year-old graduate of “Melrose Place.” She was also in the short-lived Bruce Campbell vehicle “The Adventures of Brisco County Jr.” that show is a cult classic because of the general awesomeness of Campbell and the hotness of Ms. Rutherford. Her character on “Gossip Girl” is a complete mess just like her daughter, Serena.
She’s about to be married for the fourth time, despite the fact that she used to have a thing with the poor kid from Brooklyn’s dad. She can’t possibly get with him again though, because she needs a man who can support her ridiculously lavish lifestyle. Other than that, she’s a mom and not that exciting. But she’s definitely hot and keeping it together because she has to in order to score a rich husband.
Advantage: Gossip Girl
The Newcomer
Jana Kramer as Noelle Davenport
Ms. Kramer has come along late in the “Friday Night Lights” world, but she made a serious impression. She’s never really been in anything big other than the new “Prom Night” but if her five episodes on FNL are any indication, she’s got a big future. She’s drop-dead gorgeous, has a beautiful face, perfect smile to go along with her flawless body and dark olive skin. Her character, Noelle, was a Dillon High cheerleader and star running back Smash Williams’ girlfriend. She’s also insanely knowledgeable about football, especially the recruiting process and she helped guide Smash through his decision. For all you ladies out there, that’s a total turn-on. She also had one of the best lines in FNL history when she was trying to convince Smash to go talk to a recruiter (I’m paraphrasing here): “Besides, you know when you come back you’re totally getting laid…” Of course, she wasn’t serious but still, it’s the thought that counts.
Michelle Trachtenberg as Georgina Sparks
Despite the fact that she’s whiter than a crowd at Cameron Indoor Stadium, Ms. Trachtenberg still manages to look hot. The 22-year-old Brooklyn native even overshadowed the hotness of her older co-stars during the last two seasons of “Buffy the Vampire Slayer.” She’s had serious issues finding good projects after that show died but we always like seeing her when she pops up.
Her character just showed up on “Gossip Girl” and she’s apparently awesome. She’s Serena’s old crazy best friend from her partying days and right before Georgina showed back up, Serena was getting strange packages in the mail. Examples: a bag of coke, porn, etc. Serena claims she can’t go out with her anymore but she somehow convinces her to and she gets wasted. Then again, she wants to drag Serena out again, she comes but behaves, so Georgina roofies her thus making her miss her SATs the next morning and tells her she got too drunk to remember. Awesome. Apparently now she’s blackmailing Serena with some video she has and has threatened to give out. This girl is awesome. The whole bad-girl thing is hot. But her insanely pale skin and the way she’s so obsessive about other people’s lives is a bit of a turn off.
Advantage: Friday Night Lights
Verdict: 3-2, Friday Night Lights
There you have it, once again, I’m right. If you’re going to watch a show strictly for the Foaf, “Friday Night Lights” is your pick. It has the quality of talent you want on the shows you watch every week and there’s lots of it. Truthfully, this one was way closer than I thought it would be, but fair is fair.
*Editor’s note: Special thanks to the ex-girlfriend for giving me all the background info on the “Gossip Girl” chicks because there was absolutely no way I was going to watch that show.
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