TheBaker Tackles The Worst NCAA Bubble In History

First off, I want to start by saying anyone who advocates expanding the NCAA Tournament field from 65 teams to 96 teams is a moron. This isn’t little league. We don’t all get participation ribbons.

And I know there were opponents to the expansion to 64 back when it was introduced, but come on. It’s hard enough this year picking 65 teams worthy of selection, nevertheless 96. If the tournament expands to four shy of 100, what’s the point of playing the regular season? Just have writers and coaches vote on who they think the best 96 teams are and go from there. Because Lord knows the champion isn’t coming from a group outside the top-100. So let’s just have a two-week season. Complete money hungry dumb asses if you ask me. (You didn’t? Oh well, take it anyways.)

OK, now that that’s out of the way, let’s take a look at this year’s potential field. And as I mentioned above, it’s pretty watered down this year. While there doesn’t seem to be a dominant team out there (Kansas, Syracuse and Kentucky are good, but how good?) there is even more uncertainty at the bottom of the tournament, otherwise known as the bubble. Analysts have called this year, the weakest bubble in history. And I can’t argue. 

I’ll admit, I’m a tough critic. And if it were up to me, we’d cap this year’s NCAA Tournament at 48 teams. It’s that bad this year. But luckily for mediocre programs, I’m not in charge, and plenty of undeserving teams will get a chance to dance.

Here’s a list of the team’s that I feel are already in. You’ll probably notice some high-profile absentees, but we’ll get to that later. And teams that have already secured automatic bids are mixed in here too.

ACC (2): Duke, Maryland
Atlantic Sun (1): East Tennessee State
Atlantic 10 (3): Temple, Xavier, Richmond
Big East (4): Syracuse, Pittsburgh, West Virginia, Villanova
Big South (1): Winthrop
Big 12 (4): Kansas, Kansas State, Baylor, Texas A&M
Big Ten (4): Ohio State, Purdue, Michigan State, Wisconsin
Colonial (1): Old Dominion
Conference USA (1): UTEP
Horizon (1): Butler
Ivy (1): Cornell
MAAC (1): Siena
Missouri Valley (1): Northern Iowa
Mountain West (2): New Mexico, BYU
Ohio Valley (1): Murray State
Pac-10 (1): Cal
SEC (3): Kentucky, Vanderbilt,Tennessee 
Southern (1): Wofford
Summit (1): Oakland
Sun Belt (1): North Texas
West Coast (2): St. Mary’s, Gonzaga

Later in the week, 10 more automatic bids from one-bid leagues will be up for grabs not represented in the list above. Those conferences are the America East, Big Sky, Big West, MAC, MEAC, NEC, Patriot, Southland, SWAC and WAC.

In total that brings my number of teams to 47. That means I’ve got 18 teams left to pick and to be honest it’s not easy. I’ve broken down the bubble in alphabetical order for you, and remember this is not a prediction of what I think will happen come Selection Sunday. This is merely one man’s opinion on how uninspiring most of these bubble teams’ resumes are.

I Dream About Kissing Cousins

Please excuse me for leading with a quote:

“UAB is out of the picture, but I’m still down with Mike Davis. It’s a bad situation down there, and nothing is going to change. Even if Coach Davis is there, I’m not going there.” – DeMarcus Cousins.

Why do we care so much where a former University of Alabama-Birmingham Blazers commit might end up? Because he just happens to be the No. 2 ranked player in the nation according to rivals.com.

Cousins committed to UAB but refused to sign his letter-of-intent unless he had it in writing that allowed him to opt out of his letter if Davis wasn’t retained as head coach next season.

Finally a recruit using leverage in what has become the fleecing of high school athletes for years. UAB said no dice. So Cousins never signed.

Now, he’s looking at a list of schools led by Memphis, Kansas State, NC State and Wake Forest.

But DeMarcus Cousins, I implore you, look at Indiana.

You’ve already dissed Mike Davis once, why not make it twice?

One of your former LeFlore teammates, Nick Williams – last year’s Alabama Mr. Basketball – is already in Bloomington playing 28 minutes a game.

IU assistant coach Bennie Seltzer is a Birmingham man. Sure LeFlore is in Mobile, Ala., but Cousins is from Birmingham.

In a former life, I was a newspaper journalist. During that life, I was an intern at The Birmingham News. I covered Cousins when he was a freshman at Erwin High School, and let me tell you he was, and still is, a badass.

The Hoosiers top recruit for next season is another Birmingham kid I covered as a freshman, Christian Watford. (Funny thing is, when I was there he played for Hewitt-Trussville, not Shades Valley. Have to love the high school changes. Oh, and another IU recruit Bawa Muniru is from Montgomery, Ala., but is now playing at Tracy McGrady’s alma mater, Mt. Zion in North Carolina.)

Indiana needs bodies. And I need something to smile about. I predicted IU would go 0-fer in the Big Ten season. So far I’m right. Now, the Big Ten is good, but not that good. Indiana is just that bad.

So Indiana would seem like a logical fit, right?

Well unfortunately the Hoosiers don’t have an available scholarship for next season. There are a few reasons for this. One, IU’s self-imposed sanctions stripped them of a scholarship for next season. But more importantly, the purge of everything Kelvin Sampson left the cupboard entirely bare. With it being so late in the game, Tom Crean ended up offering scholarships to guys like this. The dude has six times as many fouls (12) as he does points (two).

Now, we know Crean can recruit. He’s already got the nation’s fifth-ranked class ready to go next year.

So pair that with all the “coincidences” between IU and Cousins and one could be allowed to dream what could have been. What Crean really should do is drop Doc Rivers a phone call and tell him it would be great if he wouldn’t mind paying his son’s (Georgetown transfer Jeremiah Rivers) tuition next year rather than have him take up a valuable scholarship. Because we save those for guys like this. Hey, he’s actually helping our GPA. Got a 100 percent in one class, which is better than I ever did.

But it’s a pipe dream. It looks like Cousins is leaning toward the Derrick Rose Model. Let John Calipari get a hold of you for one year, eat up on cupcakes, look awesome and be a lottery pick.

Either way, he’s still sticking it to Mike Davis – possibly twice.

Greatest Photo We’ve Seen Lately? Yes.

So this weekend there was a much-publicized postgame fracas following No. 1 Memphis’ 79-78 win over UAB. Above is one of the greatest action shots of a postgame fracas I’ve ever seen (sorry I really like the term “postgame fracas”). We love this picture for so many reasons, we thought we’d list a few. Note: you may have to click on and open the photo to behold it in all of its glory. That’s the biggest blogger would let us make it.

-You have to love the big “We beat Mempis not our girls!” sign. This, of course, is a reference to Memphis player Robert Dozier’s recent legal difficulties. Note to UAB fans: It’s a funny sign, but in the future, you might want to do some spell checking. Either go with Memphis, or Mempiss, but not something in between.

-Continuing with the physical abuse theme, we love the girl in the front row with the “I dated Dozier” shirt and a black eye. Bravo young lady.

-Then there’s the guy on the right in an orange vest getting slapped in the face by an unidentified Memphis player.

-Middle finger count: 13

-Cell phone camera count: 4

-Flying pompom count: 5

-Attractive female count: 2

-Angry white guy count: 60 (approx.)

-Guys in collared shirts and ties: 3

-Smiles: 2

-Lime green shirts: 1

At this point we’d like to turn this into an interactive exercise. Something like a cross between “Where’s Waldo” and the back of Highlights magazine. Click on the photo to expand it and see if you can find some of the things we spotted. And if you notice anything we didn’t catch, feel free to add them in the comment section.

Here’s your checklist:
1. A Che Guevara lookalike biting his fingernails.
2. A really angry guy in a red/orange hat about to do something that will surely lead to him getting his ass kicked by a much larger man.
3. A guy in a yellow afro wig.
4. The 10 painted faces.
5. A d-bag wearing a pink shirt.
6. A cop with a “bitch please” look on her face.
7. An Asian guy who apparently finds something to his right FAR more interesting than a huge fight.
8. A guy in a suit.
9. Guy in a white shirt and a grey hat who someone tells me looks like one of the brothers from Good Charlotte. Are they even a band anymore? Because that would help explain why he was there.
10. Three examples of Bama Bangs.

You guys have fun with that. Let us know how you did.